the gesture

I walked into the house after a long day. My husband and kids had run in before me and were excited that we had received some real mail.

Christmas cards. Our favorite.

There was one addressed to me. I eagerly tore open the envelope to reveal a beautiful, glittery card chosen with me in mind. The simple message was so beautiful and meant so much. There was a gift card tucked inside so that I could get a treat. My eyes filled with tears.

We are sort of new friends, so this was a very sweet, unexpected act of kindness. I'm sure she hoped it would brighten my day, but I'm also sure she didn't know just how much it would mean to me. I'm sure she didn't know it would touch my heart this much, and make me smile each and every time I see it.

A simple gesture.

My friend was able to show me that she cares. She was intentional about making me feel special and lifting me up. A simple gesture can go a long way.

I got to thinking about just how much the little gestures impact my day to day. A lovely text or message from a friend. A coffee or treat. A hug. To feel noticed. Appreciated. To know someone thought of me. If these acts of kindness mean so much to me, I'm sure they do to others as well.

Everyone is so rushed. Especially this time of year. I could go on and on about all the "stuff" that could keep me from reaching out. But, there will always be "stuff" and there will always be somewhere to rush to. I just try to remember that no matter what is going on, I can always do SOMETHING.

I can do something, and hope that it brings a smile and warms a heart. I can hope, that even if it's a small gesture, that maybe it can save a day from being lousy. Maybe it can make someone feel less alone. Maybe the simple gesture can go a long way.

Today I was able to be a little less rushed and a little more intentional. Reflecting back on my day, I was amazed that I was able to offer quite a few simple gestures, that hopefully showed love to others and made their day a little brighter.

- At the grocery store I bought a friend's favorite candy. It reminds me of her and I want to give it to her the next time I see her. I also bought a magazine for a friend that's been spending all of her time in her father's hospital room. It was a couple of dollars that can maybe give her mind a needed break for a couple of minutes.

- At the drive-thru window, the cashier dropped my gift card outside the window, onto the ground. She felt so bad, but I smiled and said it was totally fine (even though it was raining). I got out of the car to get the gift card, and noticed there was quite a bit of money on the ground, so I picked up a bunch of the coins and put them in the donation box.

- At Hobby Lobby, the customer behind me was purchasing some big ticket items without a coupon (noooooo)! I stayed through his transaction so that I could show the cashier the coupon on my phone and save the customer some money.

- At Kohls, I noticed a woman looking at a particular scarf for quite a long time. I fought the urge to go about my business, and commented that it was a good choice. She was so happy to talk. She talked to me about her gift exchange, and scarves, and material, and texture, and thread, and return policies for quite some time. But she was lovely, and it was ok to give her that time.

- After all the errands were finally over and dinner was overdue, I passed a car pulled over on the side of the road with the hood up. It was dark and raining, and I had three kids in the car. Plus, you can never be too careful. I drove on towards home, but decided to loop around and pull close to the car to get a good look. I rolled down my window and saw it was a younger driver. She rolled down her window and I asked if she was ok. She smiled and said she was ok and waved. I felt better that I asked. I've been in that position, and even when I don't need the help, it's nice to be offered.

I share these not to boast or convey that I've got it all together. Rather, I share these to show how easy it is to reach out and show kindness. Besides a couple of dollars for the grocery store treats, it cost me nothing but a little time to just be kind. If I only pay attention, I notice there are such easy things that I can do to engage with someone and hopefully be a light.

Maybe these acts won't change someone's whole day, but maybe they WILL. They sure changed mine.

I want to notice my family. I want to notice my friends. I want to notice my community. When I take the time to notice, opportunities to help are so easily spotted. A little gesture may just be a BIG deal to someone.

stop honking your horn

It seems like lately, I get honked at almost once a week. Seriously, nothing irks me more while driving than being honked at. If I am about to get in a terrible accident, please, by all means, honk at me. Please stop me from putting myself and my family in danger. That is really noble of you.

If we are not in danger, do not honk your horn at me. Please don't.

Just stop honking your horn.

You may be thinking I'm probably a terrible driver and deserve to be honked at. No. I just don't think so.

Then what am I doing to get honked at so often? Oh, I don't know...driving? No, really. Lately people are honking their horn ALL the time. For anything.

Maybe I decided I didn't have time to turn left during the yellow light. Maybe I looked down for a second and didn't go the very second the light turned green. Maybe I was going slowly down a residential street to read an address. Maybe I stopped for a pedestrian.

Whatever the reason, it was not ok by someone else's standards and someone else felt the need to let me know how much they disapproved. How I could be doing better. How they didn't like what I was doing. How it annoyed them. How that's not what they would have done.

Well, here's the thing. This is not a blog about driving.

I've been bothered by this honking issue for awhile now, and it dawned on me that is going on in all aspects of life. This honking is happening on the road and in our relationships. On the internet where we can hide behind our computer screens. One friend told me that I should consider writing about moms being judgmental of other moms. How sad that this is such a problem! We are honking our real and metaphorical horns ALL the time. It's kind of an epidemic.

I'll let you in on a little secret. I don't have to honk my horn unless it is an emergency. Unless someone is in danger or is seriously going to cause a major catastrophe.

I don't have to honk my horn whenever I am bothered.

I don't have to say everything that comes to mind.

Guess what? Nobody wants to be corrected. Yes, sometimes it's necessary. If you are my friend or loved one, and want to say something to me in love, of course, you should! If you want to correct something that I already feel bad about, then maybe it's not necessary. If you have to say something, say it in a really loving way.

Because.

Don't you think I know? Believe me, I keep a huge list of my shortcomings right here in my noggin. Do you think I need you to point them out to me?

My husband, bless his heart, does a lot of things that bother me. I feel the need to remind him all the time. I usually sigh heavily first, and then dive into what he did wrong. He's going to get such a big head, but I'll still admit it. He hardly ever tells me what I am doing wrong. He must be bothered by the little things I do too, but he rarely mentions them.

I actually don't think he knows what he is doing half the time with these little things that bother me. Maybe I should say something so he stops doing them.

Well, first of all, no. I've been reminding him for almost 9 years now, and he's not catching on. I'm not sure he ever will. Second of all, he may not remember to rinse his dish, but he WILL remember that his wife always has something to complain about. That his wife is always correcting him.

Why do I need to tell him everything he does wrong? Can I not overlook some minor annoyances and see and appreciate him for all that he is and as the man that I love?

I don't have to say everything that comes to my mind.

Like I said, sometimes a warning or correction truly is necessary. But before laying on the horn, I should ask myself:

Will it warn or keep safe?
Will it edify?
Will it encourage?
Will it be given in love?
Will it be received in love?
Is this something that truly needs to change?
Have I prayed about it and do I feel certain the Holy Spirit is leading me?

I should NOT honk my horn if:

It will be done in anger or jealousy.
The hurt it brings will be more costly than the result.
I am unsure if it is truth or just MY opinion.
It is unnecessary to growth or salvation.
I just want to be right.

So, what can I do instead of saying something negative, hurtful, unhelpful or critical?

ENCOURAGE
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11

BUILD UP
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29

EDIFY and DEVELOP
So let us then definitely aim for and eagerly pursue what makes for harmony and for mutual upbuilding (edification and development) of one another. Romans 14:19

BE FULL of GRACE
Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. Colossians 4:6 NIV

BRING out the BEST
Be gracious in your speech. The goal is to bring out the best in others in a conversation, not put them down, not cut them out. Colossians 4:6 The Message

As long as it's not an emergency, I have time to encourage, build up, edify, develop, be full of grace, and bring out the best BEFORE turning to loving correction, and certainly before judgment.

And I might add, if there is someone in my life that I see struggling, and could feel tempted to look upon harshly, maybe I could find a way to help them instead of judge them. A hot meal goes a long way to making a struggling Momma feel loved. Or something else. But maybe I could DO something positive and helpful, instead of thinking or saying something unkind.

So, when driving, and living life in general, let's remember: Just because we have a horn and CAN use it, doesn't mean we SHOULD.

We need to start loving and giving grace and STOP honking our horns.

a beautiful mess

 

Can I just be honest?

I am a mess.

I mean, it is really bad sometimes. Sometimes, I am such a mess, that I would almost consider it a disaster.

I am overwhelmed.
I am impatient and crabby.
I *sigh* too audibly.
I'm disorganized.
I make mistakes.
I let people down.
I'm out of shape.
I have a messy house.
Sometimes I am so stressed or anxious that my body shuts down on me.
I say things I regret.
I make bad choices.
I worry.
I make excuses.
I can be negative.
I dwell on my shortcomings.

The CRAZY thing is - and this is what I wrestle with every.single.day - is that I know - I KNOW - that I have been made for so much more.

I recently wrote, "greatness seems pretty far away when there are dishes piled to the ceiling and your kid has been wearing the same pajamas for three days."

The OTHER crazy thing is that after I wrote that...after I put myself out there, and was just really honest, and real, and vulnerable.  Even embarrassed.

After I decided to take that leap and expose some of my weaknesses more than I ever had before. There's been a shift. A change. I've been realizing, and seeing, and believing, that God is actually using me through the mess.

Things are happening.
God's greatness feels closer.

I didn't think I could hear God this audibly in this mess. I didn't think I could pray with people or encourage them like this in this mess. I didn't think I could see clearly in this mess.

Yet, here I am in my messiness, and I am hearing. I am praying. I am encouraging. I am finding clarity.  More than I have in a long time. 

What makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful.
I am finding the beauty in the mess.

I don't WANT to be a mess or stay a mess. I'm bothered by it. I'm often smothered by it. There are some things that are truly not as they should be and have to change.

But if I wait. If I wait for the mess to be cleaned up. If I wait for all my ducks to get in a row already. If I wait for the perfect timing.

I may always be waiting.

I'm not going to wait. I can't wait.

One of the cool things about God is that He is know for using people that are ordinary. He uses people that are all kinds of messy.

You've probably seen this list of people in the Bible and their shortcomings. Their mess.

Abraham lied.
Sarah laughed at God's promises.
Moses had a short fuse.
Jacob was a liar.
David had an affair.
Lazarus was dead.
John was self-righteous.
Jonah ran from God.
Thomas doubted.
Jeremiah was depressed.
Elijah was burned out.
John the Baptist was a loudmouth.
Martha was a worrier.
Noah got drunk.

See, that all seems a little messy. 

But aren't we ALL a little bit of a mess?

Thank God that He uses us right where we are. Thank God He uses regular, ordinary people. He sets us apart and he calls us by name.

He justifies us. Justified means marked for a good and legitimate reason, or made righteous in the sight of God. He justifies me. Even in my chaotic, icky, unworthy messiness. Now THAT is crazy.

God knew what he was doing from the very beginning. He decided from the outset to shape the lives of those who love him along the same lines as the life of his Son. The Son stands first in the line of humanity he restored. We see the original and intended shape of our lives there in him. After God made that decision of what his children should be like, he followed it up by calling people by name. After he called them by name, he set them on a solid basis with himself. And then, after getting them established, he stayed with them to the end, gloriously completing what he had begun. 

-Romans 8:30 (MSG)

I'm so thankful that there is so much more to me than my shortcomings. I'm so glad that in the midst of whatever else is going on, there are still great things happening. It feels like something is really stirring.  Some days are so hard and the tasks seem too daunting.  BUT God will stay with me to the end and complete what he began.  Seriously, there is almost a tangible hope.  There is so much beauty right here in the mess.

A beautiful mess. I'll take it.

 All Around.

Hope is springing up from this old ground.

Out of chaos life is being found in You.

You make beautiful things.

You make beautiful things out of the dust.

You make beautiful things.
You make beautiful things out of us.

 "Beautiful Things" by Gungor

 

 

 

God,

Please make my mess beautiful. I want to be called and used by you NOW. Do a work in me, so that you can work through me. I thank you for the calling you have on my life, even when it's messy.

I pray that you turn my overwhelmed into ease, impatience into self-restraint, crabbiness into happiness, sighs into laughter, worry into peace, stress into faith, negativity into joy. Help me be organized, make better choices, build people up, choose my words carefully and kindly, own my mistakes, and take responsibilities of my actions. I pray that through you, I can let go of the things I've been forgiven for and delivered from.

God, YOU make beautiful things. I pray that you continue the work you started in me.

In Jesus Name,

Amen




*I occasionally follow an artist's blog called "A Beautiful Mess", and I love the song "Beautiful Disaster" performed by Kelly Clarkson.  Both phrases were inspiration to write this post.

to my third child on his first birthday

It's hard to believe that you are one year old. As cute as you are, and as exciting all of the new things you are learning are, I am actually sad to see this milestone come. With you, I am not in a rush for you to do things. I am content for you to stay the baby as long as possible.

This year went so fast. Too fast.

In honor of your birthday, I wanted to write you a letter.

 

Dear Eli,

First of all, I want you to know how much you were wanted. We waited and waited for you. You were always supposed to be part of our family and we are SO thankful you are here.

I hope you always know how wanted and loved you are. Completely and Unconditionally.

 

Before you were born, we knew you had a divine destiny to fulfill. Something big and great.

I hope you always remember God has a purpose and a plan for your life. It's bigger than you could ever imagine.

Being the third child, you have had to cry and wait more than I would have liked. It breaks my heart when you cry. Yet, you are so patient (for a baby). As soon as we come to you, you snuggle in and stop crying. You are extraordinary.

I hope you always focus on the good and find a way to forgive easily and completely. You are an example and a world changer.

What a sweet boy you are! You are funny and cuddly. We have so much fun with you. You know just how to put a smile on our faces.

I hope you always take time to laugh and have fun. Your smile is contagious.

You are a very easy, content baby. Honestly, I think you have to be, because your siblings aren't always so easy (shhh...don't tell them). There is a peace and joy about you that is infectious.

I hope you always find a way to be happy and strive to be a peacemaker.

From very early on, we have been protecting you from your siblings. They are just so excited to love on you! I am sorry if you haven't always been approached with the gentleness that a baby deserves. I am convinced it has strengthened your character and abilities.

I hope you always stay strong and go after what you want and what is right. You are a fighter.

You may not have a baby book yet (I'm so sorry...it's coming!), but we have taken so many pictures of you. We all adore you and have tried to capture every moment of this year. It brings tears to my eyes to think I could forget even one precious moment of you as a baby.

I hope you always savor the moment and appreciate the joy of memories with loved ones. Every moment counts.

I could never have imagined how much joy you would bring to our family and friends.
You are a light.

I hope you always find a way to shine bright little one.   We love you so.

Happy 1st Birthday Elias Allan!

put your hand in mine

The other night the baby was crying. This is nothing new. He is eleven months and has never slept through the night. It goes without saying...I'm tired. Really tired. For real.

So, he cries.

It is maybe 2 am. I decide that this time I am not getting out of bed. I will let him cry it out. I let him cry maybe ten minutes. I can't take it.

I go into his room quietly. It is unusually dark that night, but I can tell he is standing up in his crib. He is always standing up in his crib.(*This is why my babies have never put themselves to bed. They will out-stand me and out-cry me. Every time.)

When I get to the crib, my eyes still haven't adjusted to the darkness. I put my hand on the crib railing. He stops crying.

This moment took my breath away.

He stops crying and he puts his tiny baby hand on top of mine.

I didn't even know he could see me. I didn't think I made a sound.

Maybe he could see me better than I could see him, but it felt like a poignant moment. It felt like he just knew. He knew I was there and he just stopped crying.

Then. Then he reached out and put his perfect little hand on my hand. I got chills down my spine.

Remember, I could barely see him, so this simple act stunned me. It melted me. For him to find my hand like that when I didn't expect it, was so powerful to me. I could feel God so strongly in that moment.

I can't stop thinking about it.

It really made me wonder. Do I sense God when He is right in front of me? (This is always, right?)  I did that night. I do sometimes. But do I typically?

Even when it is dark.
Even when I am scared.
When I am crying out for Him.
When I am sad.
Distressed.
Worried.
Confused.
When I don't understand.

Do I know He is right here? Do I stop my crying and feel His presence? Am I immediately comforted? Do I realize how near He is? Do I reach out and put my hand on His?

I don't think I do. Not usually.  Not like I could. 

If only I could be like my sweet baby. My very presence quiets him. My voice. My smell. My touch calms him even after crying for ten minutes - an eternity to both my little guy and to me. I am everything he needs. As my Mom says, "Mommy is his favorite" right now. All is right in the world when he's in my arms. Almost always.

Could I let God comfort ME like that?

I ask God every day to help me. I beg him. Please God. Whatever I'm facing today. Sometimes it's small, but it feels so big in this moment. Be with me. Help me through this. I can't do this alone. I'm not cut out for this.

Yet, He's right here with me.

 

 The LORD remains near to all who call out to him, to everyone who calls out to him sincerely. Psalm 145:18

 He is right here - NEAR to me. He WILL help me. I have just to dry my tears and reach out for His hand.

I, the LORD your God, hold your right hand and say to you, 'Don't be afraid; I will help you.'

Isaiah 41:13

Lord, let the mention of your name calm me. When I am sad, distressed, worried or confused, let me feel your presence and grow quiet and still. I know I only have to reach out and you are there. 

I never want to forget the moment when my precious baby reached out to me in the dark and put his tiny hand on mine. I never want to forget how it felt. Allow me to hold onto that moment and more importantly, what you were trying to teach me. Always. 

Amen.

enough is enough

So, I've  been struggling with something for awhile now. Oh, I don't know...maybe for like 20 years or so.

I've been struggling with the "I'm not ever GOOD ENOUGH thoughts". Just like the

caps-lock, my thoughts yell at me. Mistakes I've made try to suffocate me. Even when I do give my all and feel like I've done my best, it can end up feeling like it's just not enough.

It feels like I'm not enough.

 

Some nights I lay in bed over-analyzing every conversation I had that day. Every activity. Every task. I think about how I wasn't good enough. I think about how I'm failing. God, am I failing? Don't worry, the nights I don't over-edit my day, I fall asleep immediately due to exhaustion (or due to the fact I stayed up an hour too late watching Chicago Fire) - ha!

I do take steps to build myself up.  I surround myself with family and friends that encourage me. But sometimes it just doesn't matter - my thoughts threaten to tear me down.

 

Thoughts like these...

You are not a good enough friend.  You cancelled. Again. You didn't call her back and you didn't use a happy emoji after your text. What will she think?

 

You're not a good enough wife.  Most husbands don't have to dig through a basket to find matching socks. A good wife would greet her husband EVERY night when he walks in the door.

You aren't a good enough mother. You yelled. You got frustrated over something small. You don't play with them enough.

 

You are not fit and healthy. You fell off the bandwagon again. Don't you want to succeed at this?

You don't try hard enough. You make goals and you hardly ever reach them. 

The list goes on.

 

It's painful to read isn't it?  Maybe you have thoughts like this too.

 

It's extremely difficult for me to admit that my thoughts can start down this "not good enough" path.  I would never talk to someone else this way. No way. Never.

 

So, why do I let these thoughts get to me? 

 

I hear phrases like "you were made for more", and "you're destined for greatness".  And I believe this wholeheartedly. 

I do. 

But...

Greatness seems pretty far away when there are dishes piled to the ceiling and your kid has been wearing the same pajamas for three days. 

Right? 

I know it IS healthy to take a good look within and find what I need to work on, but dwelling on shortcomings and defeat is NOT a healthy way to live.

So how do I maintain a healthy viewpoint of myself?

Well first and foremost, I have to forgive myself when I make a mistake, or don't measure up to my own - or anyone else's expectations.

 

 1. I don't have to let my thoughts linger on the past. I can set my sights on the future and doing better.
   Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.  See, I am doing a new thing! - 
   Isaiah 43:18-19       

2. I have to remember that God makes all things new.
   Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the kid has gone, the new has
   come! - 2 Corinthians 5:17

3. Just because someTHING that I've done doesn't seem good enough, that doesn't mean that *I* am not good enough!

4. Get together with family and friends and be REAL.  When I do this, I walk away uplifted, renewed, and feeling like most people are going through "stuff" too!

So, tell me more about being good enough...

This is what I am trying to remember.

I am enough. (Self: listen up, YOU ARE ENOUGH.)

 1. God called me and has given me everything I need for a Godly life.   

   His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our
   knowledge of  him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 2 Peter 1:3

 

  

2. I am precious to God, even if I am rejected by people (or myself). God called me.

   As you come to him, the living Stone--rejected by humans but chosen by God and

   precious to him--But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation,
   God's special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you
   out of darkness into his wonderful light. - 1 Peter 2:4, 2:9

 

 3. I may fail over and over, but God is my strength. God never fails.

   My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion

   forever."  - Psalm 73:26

     

4. Above all, God's grace is enough.  
   But he said to me, "My grace is enough for you, for my power is made perfect in
   weakness." So then, I will boast most gladly about my weaknesses, so that the
   power of Christ may reside in me. - 2 Corinthians 12:9
          I guess this blog, and me writing, is a way that I can "boast most gladly about my weaknesses," however
          exposed and vulnerable I may feel. I certainly long for God's power to live in me.


I am equipped, prepared, called, and chosen through HIS divine power...because GOD is ENOUGH.

And In Conclusion...

Don't worry.  Accepting that "I am enough" through Christ will not make me complacent.  I will never stop striving to be my best. I will just try forgive myself, and accept where God has me more completely than I have in the past. I know I will have "not good enough" moments, and I hope to reflect quickly and thoughtfully so I don't get stuck in a rut of negative thinking.  I also try to understand that if I give my best, that is always enough.  As Maya Angelou said, "Do the best you can until you know better. Then do better."

Do your best. Forgive yourself. Know that you are enough. Learn and grow. Do better.

Rinse and repeat. 


So, let's all agree that we've had enough of the destructive, "not good enough" thoughts already.

Enough is enough.
 

(But seriously, I need to be a better Mom. I'm pretty sure the baby just ate a waffle that's been in my purse since Friday.)

 

the one about the time I got excited at church

Crazy story.

I almost jumped off the risers during the choir song this past Sunday.

I know. Crazy, right?

Sure, we can get excited from time to time at our church. Personally though, it takes a lot for me to want to JUMP, and I certainly haven't felt like jumping in a long time.

But, this week we were singing about the Mightiness of God. We were singing about how Angels bow before Him. How Heaven and Earth adore Him.

Maybe that's a little church-y for you. Maybe you just can't imagine getting worked up like that.

Maybe if you saw what I saw, you could understand why I could barely contain myself. Maybe if you saw what I saw, you would see how my eyes were opened to how Mighty our God truly is.

What did I see?

I saw you. You suddenly lost your loved one, and you are grieving. You were standing. Worshiping. Praising God anyway.

I saw you. You are sick and you are worried. You don't feel like yourself and you don't have any answers. You didn't feel like coming but you came any way. You sat there with a newfound strength.

I saw you. You have lost and endured so much. I saw you with a smile on their your face. Being a voice for those that can't speak for themselves. Changing this World.

I saw you. You are overwhelmed. You do this alone and you feel forgotten. You stood up and praised God anyway. He knows your name.

I saw you. You're waiting for your loved one to have a divine intervention. You have had sleepless nights and prayed incessantly. You had tears in your eyes and you thanked God for what you know He will do.

I saw you. You don't know how you'll make ends meet. You don't know where your path will lead. Everything is unknown right now. You do know God will provide, and I saw you giving Him glory.
 

So you see, if the grieving, the broken, the sick, the weary, the worn and the confused can stand when they hear "Lord You're Mighty!" When these dear ones can worship right there in the unknown. Right there where it is hard and messy and painful. Because if Angels bow before this Mighty God we serve, that gets me a little excited.

And I might just jump a little.

 
 "Lord You're Mighty"
By: JJ Hairston & Youthful Praise.

Lord You're mighty
Lord You're mighty

 [Verse 1:]
Oh Lord how excellent is Your name in all the earth.
You set Your glory above the heavens and the earth.
When I think of all You've made, the sun, the moon and the stars.
No praise is high enough to express how great You are.

[Verse 2:]
What a mighty God we serve.
Mighty God we serve.
Angles would bow before the mighty God we serve
What a mighty God we serve.
Mighty God we serve.
Let heaven and the earth adore the mighty God we serve.

Lord You're mighty
Lord You're mighty

Hallelujah
All glory
All honor
All praise
All praise
[Repeat:]

To the mighty God we serve.
Mighty God we serve.
Angels they bow before the mighty God we serve.

bring on the rain

When it rains it pours.

Well, not always. Sometimes...it just sprinkles. It's a little unpleasant, but whatever. I can deal with it. After about the fifth day though, it's annoying. I don't mind running through the rain, but then my socks get wet. Then I'm really done. I feel bad complaining, because it's NOT pouring. But, in any case, the rain needs to stop. Just stop. Any day now.

That's how it's been lately. Every day there is a little something unpleasant. A little more than usual to just set me over the edge. To test me. To discourage me. To frustrate me. To confuse me. You catch my drift. It's not that I'm not experiencing joy. It's not that I'm not grateful. It's not that I don't know how good I have it. It's just troublesome.

I'm tired of having wet socks, you know?

I'm just...tired.

I don't think I'm the only one. I KNOW I'm not the only one. I'm not alone.

You're not alone.

Thankfully, every day God gives me some good news. Something to hold onto. A promise. A scripture. Sometimes, just a little morsel. Today, I feel He gave me a Country song. I know. It's weird. I haven't thought about this song in years. Here are the lyrics:

Bring On The Rain

Another day has almost come and gone
Can't imagine what else could go wrong
Sometimes I'd like to hide away somewhere and lock the door
A single battle lost but not the war ('cause)

Tomorrow's another day
And I'm thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain

It's almost like the hard times circle 'round
A couple drops and they all start coming down
Yeah, I might feel defeated,
And I might hang my head
I might be barely breathing - but I'm not dead, no ('cause)

Tomorrow's another day
And I'm thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain

I'm not gonna let it get me down
I'm not gonna cry
And I'm not gonna lose any sleep tonight ('cause)

Tomorrow's another day
And I am not afraid
So bring on the rain

Bring on the rain
.....

Rain can trouble us. Rain, like my trials, can make me weary. It can be dreary and desolate. You know, when it rains, it pours. BUT - rain is life-giving as well. Rain rejuvenates and restores.

It demonstrates God's faithfulness.

Joel 2:23
Rejoice, you people of Jerusalem! Rejoice in the LORD your God! For the rain he sends demonstrates his faithfulness. Once more the autumn rains will come, as well as the rains of spring.

It is more than enough. It refreshes.

Psalm 68:9
You sent abundant rain, O God, to refresh the weary land.

The symbolism of rain depends on the context. The symbolism of rain can be used, simply put, to convey the image or feeling of something terrible, or something really great.

It's so simple. I should KNOW this.

In my life too, I need to keep it in context. My life. My trials. My failures. Everything.

If I can stand the rain, and if I don't mind getting a little wet...If I can maybe even stand the wet socks...maybe, just maybe I can see the blessing of the rain. I can just stand right out there in it. Because I know it will be ok. Because I know it brings renewal. Restoration. Rejuvenation. New life. It demonstrates God's faithfulness. It is more than enough to refresh the weary land.

And I've been weary.

It's like my favorite Pinterest Inspirational Quote Pin says, I can do hard things. I guess I'll stand in the rain a little bit longer. As long as it takes. I'll get some cute rain boots.

Bring on the rain.

I'm thirsty anyway.

Aren't you?